A couple, both age 67, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for You?" the man answered, "Will you watch us have sex?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them $32. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, come to the doctor's office, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, and then leave.
Finally, one day, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $60. The Hilton charges $78. We do it here for $32, and I get $28 back from Medicare."
An elderly married couple scheduled their medical examination on the same day so that they could answer any questions the doctor might have concerning their partner.
After the husband's exam, the doctor then said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concern that you would like to ask me?"
"In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex with my wife the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I'm usually cold and chilly."
The doctor said that he would examine the wife, and then report back to the man. After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then asked: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?"
"Oh that crazy old nut", she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in July and the second time is usually in December!"
Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year.
Every year Fred would say, Edna, Id like to ride in that there airplane. And every year Edna would say, I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.
One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, Edna, Im 71 years old. If I dont ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance. Edna replied, Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.
The pilot overheard them and said, Folks, Ill make you a deal. Ill take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I wont charge you, but if you say one word its ten dollars.
Fred and Edna agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word.
They land and the pilot turns to Fred, By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didnt.
Fred replied, Well, I was going to say something when Edna fell out of the plane, but ten dollars is ten dollars.