A Maulana, a Sardarji and a Maharashtrian Brahmin happened to be in a boat which sprang a leak. The boat began to fill with water and it looked all the three would be drowned. The Maulana prayed to Allah for help: "Great and mighty Allah! Thou art compassionate and merciful. Save thy faithful servant from doom. I promise to say many extra namaazes and observe many extra rozas (fasts) if my life is saved." Lo and behold! A hand stretched down from the heavens and lifted the Maulana from the sinking boat and dropped him safely on land.
The Sardarji raised his hands to the heavens and cried "Merciful Wahgurul Save thy faithful gursikh and I promise to have a hundred akhand paaths." Lo and behold! another hand stretched down from the heavens and lifted the Sardarji from the sinking boat and dropped him unharmed on the land.
It was the turn of the Maharashtrian Brahmin. He too raised his hands to the heavens and prayed to his favourite deity "O thou Omnipotent and all-wise Ganpati Bapal Save me as those two have been saved by their gods." Lo and behold! Ganpati himself came down from the heavens and began to dance the tandavam in the boat and make it rock violently. "Ganpati Bapa," pleaded the poor Maharashtrian, "if you go on doing this, I'll be drowned."
Replied the God of auspicious beginnings, "You humans drown me every year in rivers and oceans. I will do the same to you."
THE day after my husband participated in an Iron man Triathlon - a 2.4-mile swim, 112 miles of biking and a 26.2-mile run - we stopped at a picnic site for lunch on our way home. Getting out of the car, Pete dropped the keys on the road. As he slowly, carefully, painfully leaned down to pick them up, a passerby said, "Looks like you could use a little exercise."
WAITING for our aerobics class to begin, several of us were standing around chatting about fitness and diets. One woman said that her brother-in-law had quit smoking, gone on a diet and lost weight - all at the same time. Thinking to myself that no human being could possibly do this without acquiring at least one other undesirable habit for compensation, I jokingly asked her, "What did he start doing instead of these things?" After a slight pause, she smiled and said, "Well, my sister is pregnant now."
Jeff was fast asleep in his at bed at 3:00 am when he heard an urgent knocking at the door.
Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he made his way to the door. Can you give me a push, asked the man at the door.
Jeff looked at the man, thinking he looked a bit drunk, slammed the door in his face and went back to bed. Shame on you, said his wife Sally, when hearing the story. You remember on our vacation how our car got stuck in the middle of the night and that man helped us, go out there and push his car.
So Jeff trudges back out of bed, opens the door, and calls out Ok Im here to give you a push, where are you? Im over here in the back came the voice on the swing.
While working in a post office, a lady barged in complaining that she got home to find a note from the mail man saying that he tried to deliver a package but nobody was home. My husband was home all day!, she fumed. After giving her the package I heard her tell somebody Oh, Im so excited, my husbands new hearing aids!