MY WIFE and I are avid joggers but seldom run together because our speeds are different. One day she started out before I did. Three kilometers later, I overtook her and said in my best Humphrey Bogart voice, "Where you going, sweetheart?" Without missing a stride, she replied,
Woman: Honey you no I'm a virgin and I no nothing about sex.. explain
Man: Honey lets put it this way your privates a prison and mines a prisoner so you put the prisoner in the prison.
So they have sex for the first time then the man gets tired to take a break the woman says honey the prisoner escaped so they have sex again then he took his dick out for a while because he was so exhausted and the woman says "Honey the prisoner escaped again."
One morning a man wakes up and goes downstairs for his breakfast where he gets a very frosty reception from his wife.
"You were talking in your sleep last night." said his wife, "Who the hell is this Wendy you were talking about all night?"
"Oh," replied the man, "That was Winning Wendy, the horse that I put a bet on last week!"
The man's wife accepted this story and about a week later he came back home from work and as soon as he walked through the door his wife slapped him across the face.
"What the fuck was that for?" screamed the man in pain.
"Oh nothing," replied his wife, "It's just that your horse just phoned....."
All the parts of the body were arguing about who was the most important...
The brain said that it was the most important since it did all the thinking. The heart thought it was the most important since it pumped all the blood. The lungs said they were the most important since the gathered the fresh air. Suddenly from the back the asshole spoke up.
"I'm the most important because without me you are all full of shit."