Funny Sarcastic Sayings

 – 102 total
I hate when ppl put group pics on Tinder like how am I supposed to know which one's Bret
I hate when ppl put group pics on Tinder like how am I supposed to know which one's Bret

Memes,  Tinder Jokes,  Picture Jokes,  
    
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At the restaurant:

Waitress: Hi, would u like a table?

Me: Not really. I came to eat on the floor. Carpet for two please
At the restaurant:

Waitress: Hi, would u like a table?

Me: Not really. I came to eat on the floor. Carpet for two please


Memes,  Restaurant Jokes,  Smart Alec Jokes,  
    
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Thank God for your sign! Was totally about to smash into your minivan but then read about your tiny human and decided to drive safely.
Thank God for your sign! Was totally about to smash into your minivan but then read about your tiny human and decided to drive safely.

Memes,  Sign Jokes,  Funny Baby Slogans,  
    
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"There go ya lil friend. Go speak."
"There go ya lil friend. Go speak."

Memes,  Funny Girlfriend Quotes,  Funny Witty Quotes,  
    
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I saw your lil "girlfriend" today
I saw your lil "girlfriend" today

Memes,  Girls Be Like,  Arthur Memes,  
    
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Turns out you can be a responsible adult with a full time job and still play Pokemon Go

Thanks for the concern though
Turns out you can be a responsible adult with a full time job and still play Pokemon Go

Thanks for the concern though


Memes,  Pokemon Go Meme,  Adult One Liners,  
    
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mom: need me to bring anything tomorrow?

daughter: no mom. i'll do all the work while you sw up empty handed, sit on your , and judge me about the food, the kids and my "piece of " husband.

mom: ok, so no potato salad?
mom: need me to bring anything tomorrow?

daughter: no mom. i'll do all the work while you sw up empty handed, sit on your , and judge me about the food, the kids and my "piece of " husband.

mom: ok, so no potato salad?


Memes,  Barbeque Jokes,  
    
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it's 2016 and sexuals still don't have equal rights. disgusting.
it's 2016 and sexuals still don't have equal rights. disgusting.

Memes,  Jokes For 2016,  
    
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We have to ban

Alligators
We have to ban

Alligators


Memes,  Alligator Jokes,  
    
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Great...

No everyone is an expert on parenting, zoos, gorillas and tranquilizer darts.
Great...

No everyone is an expert on parenting, zoos, gorillas and tranquilizer darts.


Memes,  Harambe Meme,  
    
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the last time i gave a :

picture it. sicily, 1912
the last time i gave a :

picture it. sicily, 1912


Memes,  Funny Tv Show Quotes,  
    
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Interviewer: Why do you want this job

Me: I've always been very passionate about not starving to death
Interviewer: Why do you want this job

Me: I've always been very passionate about not starving to death


Memes,  Funny Interview Jokes,  
    
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Oh you have a septum piercing?

I barely noticed
Oh you have a septum piercing?

I barely noticed


Nose Ring Jokes,  Willy Wonka Memes,  Insulting Jokes,  
    
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Boss: This is the third time you've been late to work this week. Do you know what that means?

Me:

It's Wednesday?
Boss: This is the third time you've been late to work this week. Do you know what that means?

Me:

It's Wednesday?


Memes,  Late Jokes,  Funny Wednesday Sayings,  
    
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Woah

We got a ballerina over here!
Woah

We got a ballerina over here!


Ballerina Jokes,  Sarcastic Pictures,  
    
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