A man and his wife are driving down the road speeding, when a cop pulls them over.

The cop asks, "Did you know you were speeding?"

The man replied, "I was, really? I never speed, I can't believe it!"

The wife interrupts and says, "Don't listen to him, he always speeds!"

The man looks at his wife and tells her to shut up.

The cop asks for the man's license. The guy says, "I never leave home without it usually."

The wife interrupts and says, "Don't listen to him, officer, he never takes his license with him! He doesn't think he will ever get caught!"

The guy turned to his wife and told her to shut up again. At this point the cop goes around to the wife's side of the car and asks, "Madam, does your husband always talk to you like this?"

She replies, "No, only when he's drunk!"

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