A guy was out with his girlfriend one day in the car when they both decided to drive down a country road. The guy then pretended to run out of petrol, hoping to strike it lucky with his girlfriend.
His girlfriend is having none of it however, and she takes $50 out of her purse, gives it to her boyfriend and tells him to get some fuel at the petrol station a few miles down the road.
The guy grudgingly agreed, but he needed to take a piss first. The guy goes behind a tree and starts peeing, when suddenly his girlfriend lights a cigarette near the fuel tank and the car violently explodes.
After all the smoke has cleared his girlfriend says, "Honey, help me find my purse, it's disappeared!"
"First help me find my right hand," said the man, "It's got my dick in it!"