Bill and his friend Ted were sitting in the pub talking about the funny faces they had seen their wives make from time to time.
Bill started of by saying, "One day, I'd accidentally pissed on the floor, and my wife went nuts, her face looked like a bullfrog being fucked. I still laugh when I think about it!"

"That's nothing," said Ted, "This afternoon, I was sitting down watching the TV, when my wife came in and said, "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FIX THE GODDAM SINK?' so I went over to the gunrack, pulled out my shotgun, took aim at her head and pulled the trigger!"

Bill's face started to turn green, and he said, "That's not funny!"
Ted started laughing, and said, "But you didn't see the look on the bitch's face when it was sliding down the wall!"

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