Growing up in South Jersey I’ve learned that Philly chicks like to have a good time, but they are also not afraid to tell you how it is and will kick your ass if need be. This tough as nails 87-year-old grandmother is one of those Philadelphia women who doesn’t take any guff.
Nana is celebrating New Year’s with her family with some shots of Fireball. One relative with a good eye for talent wisely records grammie when she goes on an epic rant on drinking.
When offered a beer she declines like a lady and says, “It’s worse than horse piss, I think.” Does that mean she’s guzzled some horse piss in her life? Gram has a more sophisticated palate and says she enjoys a cold Twisted Tea.
She doesn’t particularly enjoy shots, but she’s a fucking trooper and does a big, long shot of Fireball to ring in the New Year. The cinnamon whiskey gives her a burn and she reacts by saying, “My hair just fell off my pussy.” Can’t wait til tomorrow when someone has to clean up several gray, wispy pubes. She goes on to say, “If I had balls, they’d be on the floor.” Correction: If you had balls, you’d be a grandpa.
The final two minutes of the video nana reminisces about getting hangovers, probably caused from consuming prohibition Canadian Club Whiskey. She mocks something we all say after a hangover, “I’ll never drink again. Till the next time.”
She talks about the golden years of dancing on bars, jumping from booth to booth and how high her legs would go. Sexy time. She boasts that she was the belle of the ball and every guy wanted to dance the Jitterbug with her (To get a reference of time, Cab Calloway debuted the song “Call of the Jitter Bug” in 1934). She then displays that she can do a more modern dance move by grinding (More gray pubes fall out).
She then talks about how men want to fuck girls when they’re drunk. She explains, “They wanna get laid when they get drunk. Anybody. Everybody looks good to them.” Can’t argue with you there grammie. However, “I never let anybody get the best of me baby.” She went on to say that she would punch, fight and even get into a “fucking war” with anybody bothering her girlfriends. I want to drink Fireball with this grandma in a bar and have her as my bodyguard more than I want to breathe right now.