Aries (March 21 - April 20)
Aries dudes are BABIES
Like usually creative and seriously fun, but the kind of guy whose mom is still doing laundry for them at 25
bunch of whiners
they want everything that they want and they dont want to have to do any work for it
fun for makeouts, terrible for relationships
And usually super hot.
also incredibly stubborn
They are rams.
good whirlwinds maybe, theyre so impulsive which feels romantic for like a day
lets skip work and take a road trip!!!!!!!
yup. I had an Aries move to NYC for me after three weeks of dating. That imploded, as you can imagine.
Yeah. theyre romantic and passionate, but they also have short attention spans so its easy to get paranoid rightfully paranoid!
Taurus (April 21-May 20)
this is a mythical strong and silent type that sounds good in theory but is actually boring and bad.
ugh they are just so boring. no charisma.
taurus guys are loyal though
they cant flirt
Argumentative about dumb things.
Taurus make wonderful friends - profile I just read. emphasis on friends
they kinda make your stomach churn because theyre trying so hard
Yeah, and like just not natural
I feel like their priorities are all wrong, too like theyre the guys who are thinking about wanting to have kids when theyre 22.
Like they are not natural charmers
the Taurus I dated was reallllly into us getting married when we graduated and then he married some other girl two years after we did graduate.
I will say Tauruses are great when they are dating one of your friends! Like you never have to worry that they are going to fuck them over.
They are like the Bob the Builders of the human male world
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
i feel like if you can pin a gemini down (which is hard) theyre great
Geminis are guys who you get crushes on but nothing ever happens because theyre like too busy for anything
If they are anything like lady geminis theyre impatient and restless, like sexy airheady flighty boys
I feel like Geminis always have pretty eyes and long eyelashes <3
a gemini is a good boyfriend to have when youre 20
but theyre the kind of guys who like, convert to hari krishna. Just so unpredictable that its scary.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
the men are different from the women btw cancer guys are just a WRECK
I do feel like cancer men understand women better than any other sign. theyre male feminists.
but theyre also super fragile and sensitive
they are fragile in this way that is so not productive though and sometimes its just like FUCKING HELL get your shit together. my worst boyfriend ever was a cancer and he was just downright MEAN sometimes.
i think theyre very defensive
like they think its a personal attack if you ask them to do a house chore
I get crushes on cancers but I also feel like theyre 99% likely to be hung up on some random ex who probably sucked anyway, and its been like 10 years.
yeah, because they just have a surplus of feelings all the time. they have not cashed in their feelings tax return
tbh now it just sounds like were describing men.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
super good in bed
super charismatic, dynamic. its a stereotype but DAT HAIR
yep, I feel like they are usually hippies. The kind of guy that owns toe shoes and does the master cleanse and wants to have sex at camping.
leos are just confident. its like they lived that prior life of being a moody cancer and were like, fuck that noise, I'm going to do me. sometimes to the extreme.
i feel like with leos youre always trying to get their attention
i really really liked a leo once but I feel like he was off-brand, he was like, definitely not a clear communicator or what I'd necessarily call strong.
The way I picture a Leo is like a guy who would be your manager at a tropical themed bar, who youd have sex with after work even though he had a girlfriend who he was constantly fighting with.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
My BF is a virgo and he is great BUT a lot of virgo dudes are just kinda cold fishes.
My one that got away is a virgo. His deal was that he is perfect but couldnt allow himself to be happy, with anyone or life in general.
yup v. virgo. sensitive sallies who are v. self critical
secretly emotional but like, who cares if you dont ever show it?
right. like the biggest problem in their lives is how they feel about themselves.
ugh yeah a virgo cant ever just be happy for himself or