So you're off to college.
And you're feeling a lot of feelings.
1. Theres the feeling you feel the week before you leave:
I need to GTFO of this place.
2. And how you feel two nights before you leave:
3. AND HOW YOU FEEL THE NIGHT BEFORE YOU LEAVE:
4. And to make everything worse, the morning you leave, your parents are acting silent and weird and MELANCHOLIC.
6. But these feelings quickly evaporate when you try to finish packing.
Because everything you own DOES NOT in fact fit into that ONE box to the left.
7. Actually, youll find that your stuff doesnt even fit into MULTIPLE boxes.
And these MULTIPLE boxes wont fit into the trunk of your car!!!
8. And so you start unpacking and repacking things and bicker over trivial stuff like extension cords and all you want to do is this:
9. Finally, you get to school, where your parents think theyre WHISPERING when theyre talking about people in the near vicinity, but theyre actually speaking at an AUDIBLY DISCERNIBLE volume.
Whos that boy next door? Why dont you go talk to him? Hes cute.
*said through megaphone*
10. Introducing yourself to people on your floor is painful because its like who are we both kidding this is such a shtick.
11. You have stock conversations/phrases that you use on absolutely every person you meet:
“Hi I’m Katherine, what’s your name? Cool, where are you from? I’m from Long Island, home of Long Island iced teas and Billy Joel, haha!”
*recycles unfunny joke 500 times*
12. And then you walk through campus and start to recognize people who were overactive in the Class of 20XX Facebook group.
Secondhand embarrassment is REAL.
13. When it’s finally time for them to leave, your parents are not ready.
14. But at this point, you’re kind of like lol k bi.
15. But you’re still feeling a whole lot of *uncertainty* and *sadness* and *insecurity* and *but-how-do-I-use-fabric-softener?*
16. And then the icebreakers with your orientation group begin.
“A fun fact about me is that I had a mole on my lower back removed last week!!”
17. The first party you go to feels like it’s probably a fire hazard.
18. And despite the fact that they haven’t been made since 2010, the originals of these show up everywhere.
19. And there are a lot of these to make very sophisticated and classy cocktails.
20. But you’re having a !!good time!! because it’s your first night of !!college!!
21. You sleep like a baby that night because everything is great and college is great.
22. Your first shower has some added friends.
23. The first time you eat the dining hall food you desperately try to convince yourself that it’s good.
24. Laundry for the first time is an adventure.
But am I supposed to know what permanent press is?
25. But college is a time for experimentation, right?
You launder and you learn.
26. And then you partyyyy again!!!!
27. And the next night even more partying and partying with people you only vaguely know!!
OK this is definitely not sustainable.
28. But even though you only vaguely know these people, you have all immediately locked one another in as best friends.
29. Set for the next four years.
30. And after this week, you will do whatever you can to avoid people from your orientation group/anyone you made painful small talk with.
31. And then that magical week that exists in a vacuum is done forever.
33. And you have to become a human.
34. A human that does things.
37. LIKE GET INVOLVED WITH EXTRACURRICULARS.
38. LIKE INTERACT WITH PEOPLE.
ALL KINDS OF INTERESTING PEOPLE.
39. But then you realize that these are actually the things that make college awesome.