1. Launching into the most dramatic and unprecedented of dramas with little to no disclaimer or warning that when you ask how theyre doing, ooh buddy, do they have a story for you.
2. Stealing food off your plate.
3. Teasing your significant other for you, and making jokes that might be a little weird if mere acquaintances were to make them. Not that youre possessive but yeah, youre a little territorial when it comes to both your boo and your best friend.
4. Saying theyre your best friend, because for some unknown reason, whenever anyone else tries to cop friendship by proclaiming it, it just feels a little forced.
5. Letting you know when youre full of shit.
6. Texting you at 3 in the morning because whatever they had to say was so important that it simply could not wait.
7. Flaking on Friday night plans because theyre too exhausted to go out because you know theyll then suggest you come over and you can be lazy and pig out together.
8. Telling you when you look less than stellar, because you know they have your best interest at heart and arent doing it to hurt your feelings.
9. And for that matter, buying something that you own, because they love it so much that they dont want to borrow it and then never give it back.
10. Making themselves at home when theyre over at your place, up to and including commandeering the remote, helping themselves to your fridge and/or bookshelves, and getting way too cuddly with your cat as if to claim it as their own.
11. Asking for help on a resume or cover letter, or any other adult-ish thing they really should have down by now but here we are, my friends, here we are.
12. Texting you that their plans fell through and if they could hang, only to spring good, because Im around the corner when you say okay.
13. Spoiling the plot of every movie and TV show you still havent gotten around to seeing, because they know that you need to be filled in to operate as a functioning member of society.
14. Forcing you to talk about something you dont quite want to talk about, because they just know its bugging you and that its important you talk through it in order to deal with it and move on.
15. Disparaging your ex and wishing any number of plagues on them. When other people do it, it seems a little mean, but when your best friend does it, it just seems satisfying.
17. Muttering Mmm, yeah, okay, and so on when theyre looking at their phone as youre talking to them because you know, even though their eyes might be on their screen, their hearts and attention are 100% on you.
18. And whenever they make plans for the both of you without consulting you first. After all, theyre your best friend, and they know what you like. Sometimes you just kind of have to do first, and think later, and drag your best friend along for the ride.